Bro Law

Throughout the ages there has been an unwritten set of laws that govern the way a bro would act around another bro. These set of laws help maintain the dynamic equilibrium that keeps the brotherhood intact throughout times of crisis i.e. when a cute girl arrives in the scene. What I've done is compiled and revised through some of the principles of Man Law and the Bro Code both written by Miller Lite Company and Barney Stinson of How I Met Your Mother fame. Hopefully after reading this we, men would learn the proper manners to conduct oneself with other men.

Bro Laws

1) OUTFITS from Build-A-Bear It is not acceptable to ask a girl you are interested in out on a date if said girl is also the love interest of your 1st degree friend.

Loophole: The only time it is legal to invite her out is when the said girl shows little or no interest in your 1st degree friend despite him pushing the boundaries of socially acceptable behavior for at least 3 months with the backing of at least 3 other bros.

2) When your bro is courting an attractive female, it is your responsibility to ensure that the universe conspires to make them an item.

Loophole: Given that the aforementioned lady friend of your bro is deemed unacceptable
by you and 3 other bros, you have veto power to not help your bro in such a
situation.

3) A cougar is defined as a lady who instills both fear and physical attractiveness at first sight.
She should not be approached singly by a bro. It is vital to have another bro ever ready to rescue him from publicly lowering his self esteem.

4) It is not permissible to intentionally/unintentionally to gaze at another bro when he is only wearing undergarments no matter what the circumstances might be.

5) Sharing of food is allowed and encouraged amongst bros. However it is strictly prohibited for one bro to drink directly from the milk carton of another bro. Sharing straws amongst bro is considered unmanly as it involves the sharing of bodily fluids which indirectly gives an impression of gayness.

6) When bunking in together with another bro, it is unethical to release flatulence under the sheets. If aforementioned action was carried out, it is within the other bro's right to demand that he might find another sleeping place.

7) Here are the topics which are allowed in any bro meetings:

• Attractive women
• The "Hey Gay" reflex game
  
• Marvel action heroes
• Batman
• Any form of sports ( netball and cheer leading excluded)
• How I Met Your Mother
• Scrubs
• Carl Junior's
• Donuts
  
• Double entendre / innuendos
  
• David Cook's songs
• Beer
• i.e. anything that does not involve much use of the cerebrum and occupies 2 seconds of our time
  

8) Here are the topics which are not allowed in any bro discussions:

• Girl problems (unless its sexually related)
• Emotional mumbo-jumbo
• Potted plants
• Best friend's mum's boobs
• Best friend's ex girlfriend's boobs
• How tight SuperMan's underwear is
• How tight another bro's pants are
• Excessive usage of the High Five
• anything that requires an attention span of 5 seconds

9) On regards to "ditching" defined as leaving another Bro (the ditchee) for something that will only benefit the ditcher bro. This offense gives the Ditchee the right of using the term Ditch Bitch towards the Ditcher bro for a maximum period of 3 days.

10) In any event of an interesting interaction between to females, i.e. catfight in a club, it is a bro's duty to inform other bro's regarding this event.

11) In an event of a fisticuff between one bro and another man, it is required that the observing bro have an empty beer bottle ready to "equalize" the situation.

12) It is regarded un-bro-ly to register your bro's pet dog to participate a dog-fight for monetary purposes.

13) The word "Gay" can be used to describe aforementioned topics:

• another bro if he wears anything with flowers or the excessive use of florescent pink
  
• Rocky IV
• The youtube phenomenon "What What in the Butt?"
• Bowties
• Super tight crotch stretching pants
• Liking any other EPL team other than Man Utd.
• Praising Chritiano Ronaldo based ONLY on his good looks
• Not liking www.kennysia.com
• Not liking SouthPark
  
• Thinking that Tera Patrick is ugly

These are merely a few of the hundreds of unwritten ethics that are to be practiced in order to be the perfect Bro and Wingman. Many more unmentioned laws are not added because it is deemed to complex for the common man to comprehend.